I dunno why but today I just miss having one. I miss the comforting when being sick gets too bad, or just being snuggled and bottle fed. What I really miss most is being tucked in and given my paci. I spend most of my time playing mommy, but sometimes I just can’t take it. Hell I got so desperate that the past few nights I have been sleeping while wearing thick cloth diapers. And normally I can’t stand anything thicker than a disposable. Normally I keep my mouth shut about it because I am all about making others more happy before I think about myself. But it’s too the point where I am miserable for not thinking about myself. That day I had to put milkshake down, I was bawling my eyes out and my bf just layed there and cuddled with me, and just comforted me like someone would a baby, patting my bottom. And it made me feel better, even a bit more relaxed. And, well I want that again, really badly. I guess maybe if I can get over my fear of asking, it’ll happen. But that’s all I can think about tonight, I will post more tomorrow.
